How I Turned Adversity Into Abundance

This article by Camille Hall was originally published on Medium.

I can still think back and remember each morning that grew with anxiety as the time got nearer to my scheduled 1:1 manager syncs. I was ridden with guilt because I was not performing at my usual pace or producing my usual quality.

I tried so many tactics to “shake it off” and to “get it together” but nothing worked. I tried rearranging my workspace to invoke more creativity. I picked up new projects in hopes to entice my fascination for problem-solving. I attended more in-person company events to build more community with peers. In all of my pursuits, at the end of the day I still felt unhappy with the work I was doing at the company.

I felt like I should be doing more and should’ve been more ahead than where I was. After all my attempts to restore morale, I finally sat myself down to question why I was feeling unhappy, blocked, and stagnant at this company. Additionally, more importantly, I questioned why after all of that I was still so reluctant to leave.

You try to be positive and affirm yourself with sayings such as ‘luckily I’m employed’ or ‘thank goodness I have a job.’

You’ll know this is true for you too if somehow over the years you lost luster for your role. Every morning before you “clock in” turns grim. On the daily you find less and less excitement or desire to do more than the bare minimum. Though, you try to be positive and affirm yourself with sayings such as ‘luckily I’m employed’ or ‘thank goodness I have a job.’ I get that it can be hard to let go of what is so familiar and “safe” too. Herein lies why I titled this article as such because I too lost interest at one of my former companies and subsequently got laid off from, and unbeknownst to me thankfully so.

With much introspective work I realized I had outgrown my position there and in turn overstayed my welcome. I needed to do the work to transmute my limiting fears and excuses of why I should stay and learn to be at peace knowing it was time to leave. Don’t get me wrong, my time there served such a valuable purpose and was a huge turning stone for me in my early career. However I could no longer allow that to constitute me pledging my allegiance to them based solely on the merits of me being loyal.

Know when to leave.

Once I surrendered to this, I started taking steps into a new direction. I doubled down on studying topics that intrigued me. I completed online courses that sharpened my skills. I developed new local projects for my portfolio and ultimately I revived my thrill for being productive. The last step I needed to do was put in my resignation. By this time I had been working on career and personal development for a year and was at peace with the decision to part ways (once I found a new job that is). It was within this same month that I would be notified that myself and half the engineering department was laid off.

I danced. I clapped. I released all guilt and pressure.

This is usually the part of the story where everyone feels triggered to hear that news. On the contrary, I’d like to challenge this. Here’s what happened after being laid off. I danced. I clapped. I released all guilt and pressure. I went on to finalize forming my first company. I went on to use my newly found-again creative skills to launch tech campaigns on social media. I went on to be published on POCIT. I attracted an amazing and lucrative position at a company whose values are aligned with mine. I found my voice and became more confident in who I was.

While being let go abruptly can easily be seen as enervating and scary due to so many “unknowns” I wish to start shifting the narrative around layoffs as they can also be the turning point to bright beginnings ahead.

“Turn your challenges into your superpower” – Michelle Obama

This article by Camille Hall was originally published on Medium.